Last night I once again suffered through more than an hour of 405 traffic to head down to the Toyota Sports Center to see my beloved Hollywood Scarlets take on the Salt Lake City Shakers. Unlike last time, when I arrived an hour too early, this time I arrived late, and couldn't get a front row seat, darn it. Nevertheless, the night proved to be an action-packed blast. It started off, though, on a bit of a sad note, as this would be Hard Cora's last bout with the Scarlets. Apparently, she's moving away from Los Angeles (take me with you!). She'll be missed, and we wish her the best of luck in her new home.

Side note: The artwork advertising the bout was a kickin' image of Hard Cora done by artist Jim Mahfood. Jim is an artist I've admired for a long time. I actually requested a derby girl drawing from him at the San Diego Comic-con this year. You can see the result here under "M".

Okay, back to roller derby. From the very start of the bout, you could tell that this would be a strange evening. Rather than the freewheeling, high scoring bouts I'd seen in the past, both the Shakers and the Scarlets played very solid defense, and the Shakers really took advantage of the lead jammer status to keep scoring very low. This strategery (as the announcers called it) worked effectively for the first quarter of the match.

The Scarlets Go-Go Gidget was the first to break through the pack and put more than one or two points on the board, scoring five (I believe; I'm not working from notes this time), leaving both teams with a score in the mid-teens. While it can't be said that Gidget opened the floodgates, she definitely loosened them some, and the Scarlets began to mount a lead due to solid jamming from Scarbie Doll and Punk N Da Trunk. The Shakers, meanwhile, put points on the board thanks to jams from Dirty Pirate Hooker and China White, but overall, they played a much more physical game. There were fierce blocks being thrown all over the place by both teams, which would come to a head a little later. At the half, the Shakers trailed the Scarlets 22-43. A good, but hardly insurmountable lead.

In the second half, the scoring seemed to come easier, at least to the Scarlets. Our good friend Fighty Almighty (Hear her interview in Episode 70) kicked some major ass, both jamming and blocking very effectively. Again, both teams played a fine defensive game, but Gidget, Shiv, and Scarbie Doll continued to amass points faster than the Shakers' jammers could. One thing I noticed in this bout that I think helped the Scarlets was that there were far fewer penalties than in other bouts I've seen. That's not to say there were none at all, but penalties weren't really an issue.

Until 2:30 left in the bout, that is.

In the minutes leading up to that point, the game turned even more physical. There were a number of large spills, with skaters falling on top of and in at least one case literally rolling over other skaters. At the same time, even the legal hits became more intense. I noticed the Scarlets' Diesel take two vicious shots from one of the Shakers, and of course she responded in kind at least once or twice. This all led to the 2:30 mark where, with Felony Friendly on the jam and everything seeming cool, all of a sudden a fight erupted! In seconds, Felony, the Shakers' skater, and Duchess Von Damn were in a pile on the floor, the penalty boxes were emptying, and one or two Scarlets players who were sitting in the audience for this bout ran out onto the track. Fortunately the refs did a great job of jumping in and stopping it before it got out of hand! It's was a pretty scary scene, and led to the ejection of several skaters for both teams, and I'm pretty sure a few audience members as well. I know some people get off on them, but fights aren't why I show up for roller derby, so I was very happy to see the situation calm down before anyone was seriously hurt (that I know of).

So with that all cleared up, the remaining time was played out without incident, and the Scarlets ended up the victors by a score of Salt Lake City 47, Angel City 116. The highlight of my night was still to come, though, as I moved up to the edge of the track along with much of the audience for a round of congratulatory hi-fives to both squads. All of a sudden I found myself being accosted by one of the ejected skaters, who snuck back to the track to congratulate her teammates, hiding behind my legs to do so. I won't name names or even say which team because I don't want to get anyone in trouble, but to that skater, I'm happy to block for you, anytime!

According to the program, the next Angel City Derby Girls bout will be held December 5th, and if I heard right, it will be at a rink to be determined and not at the Toyota Sports Center. Still, tickets will be available here. I hope they find a new home soon, and that I don't have to get on the 405 to get there!!!

Last night, I traveled down to the Toyota Sports Center for another exciting night of roller derby action. Normally, I'd give a detailed description of the match, highlighting as many of the skaters as possible. However, last night's bout was so fiercely contested and well played by both sides, leaving anyone out would be a crime. Every woman on both teams gave their all, making the game tremendously entertaining.

Prison City started off the evening grabbing an early lead and never gave it up, though the Rocket Queens fought hard and kept the score close throughout the bout. From the first whistle, the checking for both sides was extremely intesnse. I was lucky enough to have a front-row seat, right next to the family of the Rocket Queens' Selacidal, and more than a few times I thought I was going to wind up with a skater in my lap! By halftime, Prison City led 71-44, a sizable, but not insurmountable lead.

The Rocket Queens didn't go down without a battle, though. They fought against both great blocking and frequent penalties, and for a moment, it looked like they might catch Prison City. Alas, it wasn't to be, and the game ended with Prison City winning 117-93. (Thanks to Lucky Eddie XXX of Prison City for posting that on her Twitter feed. I forgot to write it down.)

Along with getting to see a great bout, sitting with wonderful fans, and talking to my pal Hannah (Good luck on your skills test!), I also had my name called out over the P.A.!!! Why, you might ask? For the same reason you should! I visited TravelersJoy.com and "bought a Scarlet a uniform" to help the team get to regionals in October. You can help too, and feel the love via public address! Just visit TravelersJoy.com now and help support this incredible sport!

All in all, it was a fine evening. My only regret is that I didn't hop down to the Purple Orchid in El Segundo for the after-party. Unfortunately, I had work that needed to get done last night.

In Studio City last night, a five-foot wide water main burst, sending a torrent of water down the hill and onto Ventura Boulevard. At 10:30pm last night, I saw this on the news, and thought nothing much of it. I didn't realize the magnitude of the problem at the time.

My apartment building sits about a half-block north of Ventura Boulevard, separated from the Boulevard only by a retaining wall. At about midnight, I could hear my neighbors walking back and forth through our courtyard, talking loudly. Unable to sleep anyway, I decided to take a walk down to Ventura Boulevard to see what was going on. I opened the front door of my apartment building to find a fire engine. Looking down the street, I saw another fire engine pumping water from the building next door into the "L.A. River." Past that, what looked like a river gushed from beside the building next door. I couldn't believe the sheer amount of water.

Looking in our garage, I noticed it had started to flood. Fortunately, I park in one of the higher spots in the garage, so my car wasn't in immediate danger. However, some of the low-lying spots had started to fill. We began warning people that they might want to move their cars to a higher point before the water reached the doors.

I went upstairs to Tweet a bit and pack an overnight bag in case we had to leave. I could hear some commotion from the front. By the time I had returned, a retaining wall behind our building had burst, and a wave of water washed around the building next door, picking cars up and moving them around, and filling the subterranean garages of those buildings.

The building next to me had to be evacuated and may need to be condemned, as water flooded into the first level. Oddly, the fall of the retaining wall eased the pressure directly behind my building, and the flooding in our garage (which is not subterranean) subsided. Though there continued to be some tense moments throughout the night, at 6am when I went back to my apartment everything seemed to be over, and we survived in tact.

My heart goes out to the people next door, who had to spend the night in a local elementary school shelter. I hope they can salvage most of their belongings, if not the entire building. As of right now, fire engines, police vehicles, and the washed out cars from the building next door have kept me blocked into my apartment, so I've only seen the mess on television. I hope to get out in the next few minutes and see how bad it looks in the immediate area. I'm just thankful that our portion of that wall held up, and that we emerged from this mess pretty much unscathed.

One of the oldest sports cliches is "Defense wins championships." That could have been the subtitle for this bout. The Oly Rollers' demostrated phenomenal blocking skills, especially those of Sassy, D-Bomb, Blonde an Bitchin', and Riot Girl. As skilled as the Oly Rollers' jammers were, the defense really kicked butt in this match.

The bout started with the Rollers' Atomatrix jamming to an 8-0 lead, a lead which the rollers would never give up. Soon after, Heffer, who apparently was celebrating her birthday (Happy Birthday!), opened the lead to 23-8. A power jam for the Angel City Derby Girls allowed them to tighten the lead to 27-15. The Oly Rollers' D-Bomb threw a hard block on an ACDG jammer, which was returned in kind by Duchess Von Damn. From there, the Oly Rollers played strong defense and built up points consistantly. Even after another ACDG power jam, they had doubled ACDG, leading 52-26. A new member of the Scarlets, Scarbie Doll, took a penalty while on the jam, but thanks to great blocking by Hard Cora, the Oly Rollers' B Tease N managed to score only five points on the power jam. After a number of penalties, and more frustrating blocking from the Rollers, the lead stood at 81-26 Oly. The onslaught continued as a good block from Oly's Wax Job opened the door for Mary Stoppins to score and bring the lead to 96-26. As if that weren't enough, Blonde an Bitchin' took off on the jam, scoring 24 points! By the end of the first half, the score stood at Oly 124, ACDG 28.

At halftime, I met Brik Wall of the O.C. Rollergirls. It was a pleasure meeting you, Brik!

Okay, back to the action. The second half seemed to start with a number of penalties early on. ACDG found a way to put some points on the board, but again the Oly Rollers also steadily scored. ACDG's Estro Jen threw a decent block at Tannibal Lector, but the score nevertheless opened up to 170-41. Despite the best efforts of Cherrylicious, Va Va Va Gina, and Fighty Almighty, the Oly jammers, led by Atomatrix, Heffer, and Mary Stoppins, seemed to be able to work their way through the pack with far more ease than the ADCG jammers. After a few more good jams by Surly Sioux and D-Bomb, Heffer called the last jam just as time ran out, with the Oly Rollers defeating the ACDG Scarlets by a final score of 233-47.

Sadly, though this was a double-header event, I wasn't able to stay for the second bout between the San Diego Wildfires and the B.ay A.rea D.erby Girls. The good news, though, is that you can read the live blog of both bouts of the double-header at DerbyNewsNetwork.com!

I have no idea when I'll see my next bout, but as usual, I can't wait.

I wasn't expecting to attend another bout before RollerCon, but once I found out the Angel City Derby Girls were hosting a bout this weekend, I couldn't resist. On Saturday night, the Angel City Derby Girls' Rocket Queens hosted the Sacred City Derby Girls' Disciples at the Toyota Sports Center in El Segundo.

From the opening jam, you could tell that defense would play a key role in the action. The Disciples' Va Va Voom set the tone, doing a fine job of keeping the Rocket Queens' jammers lodged in the pack. Following an early penalty to the Rocket Queens' Selacidal, Pink Devil of the Disciples went on a power jam, opening an early 13-4 lead. The Rocket Queens didn't just lie down, though. A fine block by Rocket Queens captain Vodka Toxic opened the door for Fighty Almighty to score, and with subsequent good jams by Quantum and Selacidal, the Rocket Queens had tightened the score to 20-19. The Disciples' Jennergizer Bunny jammed and got so compact as she got to the back of the pack that she was through before they knew she was even there. Still, even with Jennergizer jamming, with Razor Girl matching the Rocket Queens' Selacidal in speed, and with another power jam by Pink Devil, the Disciples still fell behind. The blocking of Sweet Success, Scarlene, and Sugar N Spikes helped the Rocket Queens pull out a 28-39 lead by the end of the first half.

The second half proved as physical as the first. Sugar N Spikes took the Disciples' Hook and Sink Her into one of the side walls. Va Va Voom continued her fine blocking. As did Frida Bandita, who must have gone a little too far, for she received a gross misconduct penalty and was ejected from the bout. She complained as she left, but this was the only complaining I noticed about the officiating all night. The crew, led by Hannah Grenade, seemed to do a fine job. The action started back up, and Fighty Almighty took the Disciples Judi Jettison down. On the Disciples side, Hurrican Sioux also threw many good blocks. with all of that rough action, the Rocket Queens' lead remained fairly steady. Penalties and power jams allowed Sacred City to come to within four points of the lead, but the jamming of the Rocket Queens pulled through, and they came away with the victory. The final score was 60-73 in favor of Angel City.

Thanks to everyone involved for another great night of roller derby.

On Saturday evening, I took a trip out to Camarillo, CA to see the Ventura County Derby Darlins skate against the Silicon Valley Roller Girls in a double-header. Upon arriving at Freedom Park, I began looking for the rink. I don't know why it surprised me, but the rink at Freedom Park is actually outdoors! So I got a little bit of a tan during the first half of the first game, before moving into the shade for the rest of the evening. On to the action!

In the first match, the SVRG Killabytes took on the VCDD Battalion of Skates. Right off the bat, The Beast from SVRG laid a huge hit on VCDD's Lady Death. This helped SVRG to jump to an early 24-0 lead, from which they never looked back. Double Easy, Postal Servix, and Golden Delicious all skated key jams for SVRG, while the jammers for VCDD found it hard to break through the defense. SVRG's Aim DeKill took the last jam of the first half, which ended with a score of 96-18.

In the second half, the Killabytes' Cyntax started racking up points. VCDD's 6ft Sarah took a nasty spill, and for a moment there was great concern, but she did manage to get up and skate off mostly under her own power. Soon after, VCDD's Afternoon DD-Lite went on the jam, and scored a few points, bringing the totals to 150-29. Not to be outdone by the offense, the Battalion's 2-Nadi-4-U threw a hard block at Cyntax. The game ended with a solid jam from SVRG's Badass Blondee, making the final score to 201-39 in favor of SVRG. At least, I think it was 39. The crowd was cheering quite loudly at that point, so I'm not sure I heard the announcer quite correctly.

After an intermission, the second bout began, pitting the SVRG Dot Kamikazes against the VCDD Vendolls. This bout was non-stop action from start to finish! From the get-go, the Vendolls Bettie 12Gage threw vicious blocks all over the place. Hitman Heidi did some solid blocking as well. Miss Ally Crash of the Vendolls went on the jam and really got the crowd riled up. Potti Mouth Patty whipped Hitman Heidi (one of many well-done whips in this bout) to help her rack up some points. The crowd went insane when VCDD's Devious Duchess went on a scoring run. On the SVRG side, Lizapalooza knocked skaters to the rink, and Pia Mess slammed Hitman Heidi with a great block. SVRG's Smack Dahlia put a number of points on the board, but overall, SVRG played a very smart game, using the lead jammer status to build up points slowly and consistently. By the end of the first half, SVRG held a 42-25 lead.

Early in the second half, Bettie 12Gage went on the jam, pulling the score to 42-31. SVRG's Terrible Demise and The Undie Taker continued to add points to the board, and after VCDD's Dita De Los Muertos jammed, the score stood at 52-38. Vendetta Vixen of the Vendolls threw a huge block, sending two skaters to the ground at the same time. Likewise, SVRG's blockers almost sent Vicious Ticious skating into the crowd at one point. Devious Duchess again jammed several times, to the crowd's delight. By the time she was finished, she had nearly tied the score; VCDD trailed by a score of 60-58. Vicious Ticious jammed, and despite a good block by SVRG's Juicy K. Tore, she pulled the Vendolls to only one point behind. The Dot Kamikaze's Pia Mess skated a good jam, and with just 53.5 seconds left, the score was 70-65 in favor or ..Silicon Valley... The rink went bananas as Hitman Heidi and Pia Mess squared off on the last jam. Heidi worked her way through the pack and took lead jammer. It looked as though she was going to be the hero and pull out a victory for the Vendolls! Then, on her second trip through the pack, Heidi passed two skaters, and all of a sudden the action was halted. To be honest, I'm not one hundred percent sure what happened, but it led to Heidi being ejected, and the game being won by Silicon Valley 70-67. Heidi skated past me on her way out of the rink, shouting in protest back to the reffing crew and to Silicon Valley.

One more funny note: at one point, referee Ulrich von Hurtem chastised someone for using foul language in a family environment. While I agree wholeheartedly with that sentiment, it probably would have hit home harder had Limp Bizkit's wonderfully profane "Break Stuff" not been playing on the sound system at that exact moment. I couldn't help but laugh.

Overall, it was another amazingly fun and exciting evening of roller derby. Again, for those of you who haven't yet experienced the sport live, find your local team and get out to the rink! Thanks to all the skaters on all four teams for a great night of entertainment, and to all the volunteers who help out in so many key areas as well. If I do make it to RollerCon in a couple of weeks, I owe beverages to the lot of you (and ACDG, and LADD, and SDDD, and KC/DC, and Sacred City, and...whew, this is getting expensive!).

This weekend, the L.A. Derby Dolls hosted several events. First, they had their Baby Doll Brawl, in which future derby stars got to show off their talents. This included a halftime exposition bout featuring the Jr. Derby Dolls, aged 8-17. The highlight of the evening, though, was the L.A. Derby Dolls' Aftershockers (their All-Star B Bracket team) facing off against the Angel City Derby Girls' Prom Queens (some of the best Flat-Track skaters in Southern California). Unfortunately, I missed the day bout, and even missed the second half of the main event, but I still went to the Doll Factory and had a great time.

On the way in, I once again saw my friend and co-worker Cecil B. DeKille, heading toward his director's booth. There was the usual, wonderful energy of music, lights, vendors, skaters warming up, and so on. After the warm-ups were done, the lights were dimmed and the announcers asked everyone to look to the video screens, where they were going to play the eagerly-awaited trailer of the film that has had the entire roller derby community talking. Was this it? The trailer to Drew Barrymore's Whip It!? Naw. They pulled a fast one on us, and showed the trailer for 1979's Skatetown, U.S.A., starring Scott Baio. Great joke, and one funny trailer!

Up next were the team introductions. First up, we met the Aftershockers, with captain Killo Kitty, and manager Iron Maiven. Then it was time to meet the Prom Queens, all dressed in purple, sparkly outfits. Prom Queens manager Diesel drew a great deal of attention from the crowd (and comments from the announcers) for her outfit, which consisted solely of purple lingerie and a sash.

With introductions over, the bout began. The action started furiously right off the bat. Both teams were hitting extremely hard. Early in the match, the Prom Queens' Punk N Da Trunk took a spill and slid literally off the track and out onto the concrete floor. Everyone gasped, concerned that she had been seriously injured. In just a couple of seconds, though, she popped right up, gave everyone the thumbs up, and climbed right back onto the track! The crowd roared in apprecation and relief. It was an amazing sight, and I'm very glad she wasn't hurt.

From there, both the Aftershockers and Prom Queens played solid defense, but the Prom Queens' jammers just never seemed able to break through the pack with enough time to score, while the Aftershockers had a much easier time of it. Stefcon 1 and Suzy Snakeyes had high-scoring jams, and by the end of the first quarter, the Prom Queens trailed the Aftershockers 13-46. Things didn't change much in the second quarter, as Long Island Lolita and Puncherello skated good jams to huge cheers. By halftime, the Aftershockers had a more than seventy point lead.

As we entered halftime, the lights once again dimmed for another special video presentation. Would THIS be the trailer to the much-anticipated Whip It!? Nope. It was better. Suzy Snakeyes' boyfriend, Mike, proposed to her in the video, and on the track. Congratulations and much happiness to them both. At this point, I realized that I had an early morning coming up, and that I needed to go, sadly. Still, I was glad to see even a half of a bout.

At home the next morning, I read that the final score turned out to be Prom Queens 63, Aftershockers 165, so clearly while the Aftershockers opened their lead, the second half must have been closer than the first. As always, it was a great evening. Thanks to all the skaters, vendors, bands, and volunteers who help put these events together.

This past weekend, the Angel City Derby Girls hosted The Big One, the California Women's Flat-track Roller Derby Championship, at their home track at the Toyota Sports Center in El Segundo, CA. This two-day event decided bragging rights among the best of California's flat-track roller derby teams, and fortunately for me, I was able to attend most of the tournament. For detailed coverage of the event, particularly of day two, I suggest you visit DerbyNewsNetwork.com. Their level of coverage is far more extensive than I could put in a simple blog, so I'll just give you some of the highlights from my newbie's perspective, starting with Saturday’s action.

Game 1 - Sacred City Derby Girls' Sacrificers vs. Los Angeles Derby Dolls' Ri-Ettes

Early penalties to the Ri-Ettes jammers allowed the Sacrificers to jump to an early 32-4 lead. Furious jams by Gori Spelling, Judy Gloom, and Iron Maiven put the Ri-Ettes ahead 47-45 with two minutes left. However, another penalty to a Ri-Ettes jammer opened the door for the Sacrificers, and they managed to pull out a 49-47 victory.

Game 2 - Ri-Ettes vs. B.ay A.rea D.erby Girls

Again, early penalties proved costly, this time to the BAD Girls. Mila Minute sped her way to a 17 point jam, putting the Ri-Ettes ahead 26-12 at the halfway point of the bout. The blocking of BAD Girls Nina Beretta and Friskie Meow opened up a jam for Coco Motion, and likewise P.I.T.A., Haught Wheels, and Krissy Krash of the Ri-Ettes sprung Judy Gloom on a scoring run. A penalty to the BAD Girls allowed Laguna Beyatch to score big and open up a 50-18 lead on their way to a 65-32 final score.

Side note: we just had an earthquake as I'm writing this.

Game 3 - Sacrificers vs. San Diego Derby Dolls' Wildfires

In what would become a frequent sight, the Wildfires' Kiki Diazz racked up a lot of early points, as did Bonnie D. Stroir, opening up a 26-2 early lead over the Sacrificers. There was some good blocking by Shadow Soldier of the Sacrificers and Slamurai of the Wildfires. San Diego kept building on that early lead, with the help of a high-scoring jam by Kung POW Tina, and ended up winning 81-30.

Game 4 - Ri-Ettes vs. Wildfires

The Ri-Ettes Killo Kitty, who happened to be sitting next to me until this point, joined the Ri-Ettes for this bout. Out of this game was P.I.T.A., who took her seat, and explained to me that this tournament was the Ri-Ettes first flat-track competition. She also detailed how the strategy of the game differs from their usual banked track setting (the inside line is better than the outside line, hip checks are more effective than shoulder checks, etc., IIRC). Again, penalties to the Ri-Ettes allowed the Wildfires to take a 24-6 lead, despite the strong blocking effort of Eire Vengeance. As time wound down, the Wildfires’ Aunt Flo called off the last jam with a bit of flair, and in the end the Ri-Ettes fell to the Wildfires, 89-26.

Game 5 – Sacrificers vs. BAD Girls

This game was crazy. Cash Money and Moto Bella led the Sacrificers’ to an early 25-4 lead. The BAD Girls chipped away at that lead, though, and soon the score was 38-25 in favor of the Sacrificers. Despite solid blocking from the Sacrificers’ Mathemortician, Coco Motion trimmed the Sacrificers’ lead farther, and Jane Hammer went on a rampage, tying the score at 60 on the last jam! This bout was going into overtime! After a full, two-minute, overtime jam the score still remained tied at 71!!! The place went nuts. Fans jumped out of their seats, screaming support for their team. The furious second overtime jam pitted the BAD Girls’ Jane Hammer against Cash Money. Though both teams fought hard, the BAD Girls pulled out the victory, with a final score of 94-75.

Whew! I needed a break after that, and I imagine the BAD Girls did too. We wouldn’t get one, though, as a few short minutes later, it was time for…

Game 6 – BAD Girls vs. Wildfires

Kiki Diazz again started strong for the Wildfires, and after five minutes they led the BAD Girls 25-5. Not to be denied, though, the BAD Girls stormed back, and closed the lead to 33-22 Wildfires by the halfway point of the game. From that point forward, though, the Wildfires took over. Trish the Dish was a force on both offense and defense, first laying a huge hit on Coco Motion, and later taking over a jam from Kiki to put some points on the board. Once again, the Wildfires’ Kung POW Tina had a huge jam, all of this combining to give the Wildfires the win by a score of 82-26.

That was the end of the morning round-robin games. Advancing to the semi-finals were San Diego Derby Dolls’ Wildfires and the Los Angeles Derby Dolls’ Ri-Ettes. After a short break, it was time for the evening session, starting with the home team.

Game 1 – Angel City Derby Girls’ Hollywood Scarlets vs. Sac City Rollers

Though time was getting short for me, I did stick around to make sure I saw at least one match featuring the Angel City Derby Girls. They didn’t disappoint, defeating the Sac City Rollers 145-18. Unfortunately, I had to leave at that point. My apologies to the Orange County Roller Girls and Central Coast Roller Derby, neither of whom I was able to see this weekend. Here are the scores of the remaining bouts from Saturday.

Game 2 – Orange County Roller Girls’ Crushers vs. Sac City Rollers

The Crushers won in a tight match, 41-38

Game 3 – Central Coast Roller Derby vs. Hollywood Scarlets

The Scarlets continued to rack up big scores, winning 114-22.

Game 4 – Central Coast vs. Sac City Rollers

Sac City defeated Central Coast 84-50.

Game 5 – Hollywood Scarlets vs. Crushers

Again, the Scarlets put up triple digits, winning 119-3.

Game 6 – Crushers vs. Central Coast

Central Coast beat the Crushers 51-29.

Advancing from this group were the Hollywood Scarlets, and the Sac City Rollers; Sunday’s semifinal matches were set.

Semifinal Game 1 – Los Angeles Derby Dolls’ Ri-Ettes vs. Angel City Derby Girls’ Hollywood Scarlets

This bout was a no-lose proposition for me. Though I was wearing my ACDG shirt (root, root, root, for the home team and all that), I’m a fan of both, and would have been happy with either team advancing. The match started with a good jam by Scarlets’ Selacidal, and some fine blocking by the team of Diesel and Ms. D’Fiant. At the opposite end of the track from me, there was a huge pile-up, leaving Krissy Krash of the Ri-Ettes writhing in pain. Though everyone was relieved when she did get up under her own power, she was still taken to the hospital to have a precautionary examination of her eye. Once the action resumed, the Ri-Ettes Mila Minute lived up to her name, tearing around the track at amazing speeds. Not to be outdone, Estro Jen of the Scarlets performed well as both a jammer and a blocker, showing off her speed, flexibility, and agility. After a 19pt jam to end the half, the Scarlets went to the locker room with 103-36 lead.

The second half saw the Scarlets play even stronger defense, despite the Ri-Ettes best efforts. Mila Minute ended up being ejected from the game for too many penalties. Penalties were an issue throughout the tournament. Every team seemed to have some calls go against them that they felt were bogus. I’m not savvy enough to comment on that, but I will say that if everyone is unhappy equally, then the refs are probably doing a fair job. Still, I swear that at one point in the second half of this game, I saw the Scarlets’ Hard Cora get smacked in the face, and get a penalty for it. Anyway, when all was said and done, the Scarlets defeated the Ri-Ettes 219-59, advancing to the finals.

Semifinal Game 2 – San Diego Derby Dolls’ Wildfires vs. Sac City Rollers

From the get go these teams fought hard for their chance to move on to the finals. Purdy Grrrl of Sac City got her bell rung in a collision early in the bout. Oddly enough it wasn’t with the Wildfires’ Isabelle Ringer, who nevertheless gave teams fits throughout the tournament both as a blocker and a jammer. A strong hit sent Sac City’s La Lucha headed toward me, skates first. I thought for a minute I was going to end up with some bruised shins (would have totally been worth it), but she stopped short of me. As before, Kiki Diazz and Kung POW Tina poured it on, racking up points for the Wildfires, and by halftime, they led Sac City 92-13.

As the teams huddled near their benches before the second half, a few Sac City Rollers and their coach were dancing around. All of a sudden, a dance circle broke out and Lil’ Punk was busting some serious moves. Not to be outdone, the Wildfires skated over to the Sac City bench and joined in the fun! Trish the Dish pulled off the worm, La Lucha did the splits, and even one of the Enforcers (refs), Cal Basa, got in on the fun. I love seeing that teams can be seriously competitive on the track, but friends off of it. For now, though, it was time to get back on it.

In the second half, the trio of PT Bruiser, Dahmernatrix, and Splint Her all threw good blocks, frustrating Lil’ Punk and Spankenstein’s best efforts to score for Sac City. San Diego advanced to the finals with a final score of 212-26.

Consolation Match – Ri-Ettes vs. Sac City Rollers

Krissy Krash had returned from the hospital, and skated in the consolation match, allaying everyone’s fears that her earlier injury might have been more serious. Sac City’s Purdy Grrrl and Lil’ Punk again had good jams, as did V. Lee for the Ri-Ettes. L.A.’s Tara Armov and Razorslut threw some big hits, the latter of which sent Fastlane Fanny my way, but again she stopped short of hitting me. Also right in front of me, the Ri-Ettes’ Judy Gloom lost a skate, and Iron Maiven faked an injury to stop the bout. Razorslut took the final jam to a chorus of cheers, and added a few points to the board, sealing a 63-33 victory for the Ri-Ettes. For their first competition on a flat track, third place is a darned good showing in my opinion.

Now, it was the match we had been waiting for all weekend.

Championship Match – Angel City Derby Girls’ Hollwyood Scarlets vs. San Diego Derby Dolls’ Wildfires

The intensity of the entire arena was ratcheted way up for the championship bout. The Scarlets got off to a fine start, with Shiv and Punk N. Da’Trunk put some early points on the board, but once again Kung POW Tina scored almost at will, keeping the Wildfires in the match. San Diego also played solid defense all around, led by Bo Toxic and Anna Nuthathang, while the Scarlets strategically adjusted the speed of the pack and used the 20-foot rule to help themselves score. By the end of the first half, the Scarlets led the Wildfires 74-53.

By the second half, the crowd had gone insane. The action began as feverishly as it left off. After a hip check, the Wildfires jammer Steely Jan whooshed by, no more than an inch or two away from me. She and the rest of San Diego’s squad chipped away at the Scarlets’ lead. Diesel and Estro Jen took a huge spill, courtesy of the Wildfires’ Bonnie D. Stroir. San Diego had cut the lead down to 84-71 when penalties began to cost the Scarlets tremendously. Visibly upset, Diesel was sent to the penalty box twice in rapid succession, leaving the Scarlets without a jammer. Micki Dagger of the Wildfires took advantage of this and put San Diego in the lead, 88-86! Kung POW Tina skated on a power jam, while the Scarlets had almost no blockers on the track. That jam blew the score up to 111-86 San Diego. From there on, the Scarlets’ Go-Go Gidget, Hard Cora, and Gina did everything they could on defense, but the Wildfires had too much momentum, and took the championship, defeating the Hollywood Scarlets 151-113.

Congratulations to the San Diego Derby Dolls’ Wildfires, and congratulations too to the MVPs of the championship, as selected by the opposing teams, Estro Jen of the Scarlets, and Kung POW Tina of the Wildfires. Thank you to ACDG for hosting the event, and to everyone who participated in it.

Interesting note: the earthquake I mentioned above was a 4.7 magnitude quake centered about a mile from where all of this action took place. Personally, I think the Earth just trembled and cracked under the weight of this much awesomeness gathered in one place.

I don’t know when I’ll be seeing my next bout, but it won’t be soon enough!!!

Those of you who read my blog about the Angel City Derby Girls know that I fell in love with roller derby at first sight. On Saturday night, my adoration for the sport grew even bigger when I attended the bout between the L.A. Derby Dolls' Ri-Ettes and KC/DC, a combined team from Kansas City and Duke City.

Being unable to plan anything fun in advance, I didn't decide to attend the bout until about 5:15pm, 45 minutes before the doors opened and way too late to buy advance tickets. Still I drove down the 101 to Historic Filipinotown in the hopes that tickets would be available at the door. Luck was on my side. I bought a VIP ticket and headed into the Doll Factory. In L.A., it's said that the coolest places to hang out don't have signs on the outside; you just have to know where they are. That certainly applies to the Doll Factory. The exterior of the building looks like any other nondescript warehouse. Once inside, though, the explosion of lights, colors, and sound made my jaw drop.

As I walked in I looked up at the top of one of the grandstands and saw something I didn't expect at all...a co-worker! It turns out that another Best Damn staffer was there directing the web feed of the event. In fact, he had just decided on his Derby name: Cecil B. DeKille! He allowed me to take a look inside the booth where they run the web feed. Those are some tight quarters! After talking with Cecil, I walked farther into the facility, into Vendors' Village, where more than a dozen booths were selling T-Shirts, food, adult beverages, skating gear, books, and more. A stage had been set up at one end of the Village, so I gathered that there would be some live music to come. Being a T-shirt junkie, I bought two shirts, one from a vendor and one from the Derby Dolls, before making my way to my seat.

This being my first time seeing banked track roller derby, I naturally took note of some of the differences about the track. First, it's banked. Duh. The whole track is sloped, with the curves being the most severely banked areas; I would guess the incline is about a thirty-degree angle at its steepest point. I later found out that the track is one of the highest in the world, rising 52" at the apex of the turns. Heavily padded rails, which saw a lot of use throughout the night, ringed the track. A giant, mirrored roller skate hung over the center of the track, reflecting the lights all around the arena. At the Doll Factory, VIP tickets allow you to sit on bleachers, while general admission tickets allow you to stand around the track. Going in with no prior knowledge, I wasn't sure how the G.A. view would be, but it turns out they have risers all the way around the track, so even if you're not seated in the bleachers, you can easily get a great view of all the action. I found a seat in the front row of the bleachers and settled in to watch the warm-ups.

As people filed in, I noticed that the crowd, numbering in the hundreds, consisted of men and women, of people of every race, and of ages ranging from 21 to 80-plus. It was the most diverse crowd I've ever seen at a sporting event, and every single attendee seemed to be having a great time. As warm-ups ended, a luchador named Ri-Oto walked around the arena, riling up the fans, while DJ Kasey Bomber spun tracks varying from Metallica and AC/DC to the Raveonettes and the White Stripes to Millie Small's ska classic My Boy Lollipop and The Who. Just before the end of warm-ups, I was surprised to see K.D. Lang pass by on the way to her seat. Not long after that, Drew Barrymore passed me and sat about twenty feet away. Drew recently directed a movie about roller derby called Whip It!, starring Ellen Page, which will be in theatres on October 9th.

Because of the banked track, the speed of the game is a bit faster than flat-track derby. Also, the blockers are more easily able to whip the jammer, giving her a burst of extra speed (hence the title of the film). At times, these whips can be incredibly acrobatic. Late in the match, one of the Ri-Ettes performed a whip by skating backwards, dropping to the floor on her back, and pulling the straddling jammer over herself--quite a sight, but I'm getting ahead of myself. After Kelly Kaboom of the Ri-Ettes sang the national anthem, the bout began. From the get-go, the action was insane!!! Throughout the match, announcers Evil E and Blaine Capatch kept a steady stream of commentary, information, and jokes coming from the P.A. system. The Ri-Ettes took the lead from the very first jam, and by the end of the first quarter, they led KC/DC 40-14. In the second quarter the lead widened, thanks to an amazing fifteen-point jam by Jacq Pot. At the half, the score stood at Ri-Ettes 82, KC/DC 35.

In a brief ceremony during halftime, a couple named Gia and Roger got married at the center of the track. Congratulations and best wishes to them. Bayonetta caught the bouquet, and standing right next to her was our good MySpace/Twitter friend Hannah Grenade! After the ceremony, I walked down to the side of the track and finally introduced myself to Hannah in person. She told me a great deal about the league and the track, and even offered to give me skating lessons (I'm still thinking about it, Hannah!). Before the second half began, I wandered back toward Vendors' Village again, where I noticed that the band was playing. It turns out it wasn't just any band, it was Mojo Wire, featuring Monique Powell, formerly the lead singer for Save Ferris, a band I must have seen twenty times back in the late nineties. I caught the last couple of songs, and they were great. Their last song, Roll, knocked me out figuratively, and Monique out literally; she ended the show lying on the floor, exhausted. So now I'll be checking the L.A. Weekly for Mojo Wire shows. Once their show was done, I headed back to my seat for the second half.

The Ri-Ettes didn't let up. Mila Minute and team captain Krissy Krash skated some excellent jams, and Jacq Pot continued to bring the crowd to a frenzy by racking up high scores. KC/DC didn't go down without a fight, though. Muffin and Kamikaze Kim did their best to even the score. On the blocking side, Broadzilla of the Ri-Ettes and Rah Rah of KC/DC both had solid nights, sending more than a few skaters to the floor or crashing into the rails. On more than one occasion the crowd cringed as they heard that distinctive sound of a skater getting rink rash from a fall. Ouch! In the end, the Ri-Ettes prevailed, with a final score of 167 to 73. After congrats and high fives for both teams, it was time to go back home. I'm looking forward to seeing the Ri-Ettes again soon.

Real soon. This weekend, in fact.

For roller derby fans in the L.A. area, or for anyone whose interest has been piqued by these blogs, this weekend's event is not to be missed. On May 16th and 17th, the Angel City Derby Girls host "The Big One" at Toyota Sports Center in El Segundo, CA.

It's two days of flat-track roller derby action as teams from all over the state vie for the California championship. Saturday consists of a round-robin series of thirty-minute bouts, with the top two teams from each division advancing to the semi-finals. On Sunday, the action heats up with the semifinal bouts, and ends with the championship match!

Participating teams include the Angel City Derby Girls' Hollywood Scarlets, the Sacred City Derby Girls' Sacrificers, the B.ay A.rea D.erby Girls' Plan B, the Central Coast Roller Derby All Stars, the Sac City Rollers' All Stars, the Orange County Roller Girls' Orange Crushers, the San Diego Derby Dolls' Wildfires, and the L.A. Derby Dolls' Ri-Ettes.

For more information, visit TheBigOneTournament.com. Get your ticket today and join Hard Cora, Go-Go Gidget, Duchess Von Damn, and the rest of the Hollywood Scarlets as they host the best skaters in California! See you there!

As for the next event at the Doll Factory, on May 30th the Sirens take on the Tough Cookies. Schedule permitting, I'll be there, too!

I'm not sure what piqued my recent interest in roller derby, but I decided a little while ago that I wanted to see my first bout. While doing some internet searching on Saturday afternoon, I found that the Hollywood Scarlets of the Angel City Derby Girls were skating against the Arizona Roller Derby's Tent City Terrors that night. This bout between two all-star teams promised some great action, so I decided to go. My previous experience with the sport consisted only of some phony, locally televised bouts in the mid-'80s, and about 15 minutes of TNN's RollerJam, so like those programs, I expected the event to be focused more on spectacle than athletic competition, a sort of WWE on wheels. Boy, was I wrong!

Thanks to a fender bender on the 405, it took me over an hour to drive the 25 miles from my San Fernando Valley apartment to the Toyota Sports Center in El Segundo, CA. I arrived at 7:30pm, and found a short line waiting in front of the center. As I walked up to join them, I noticed that the line wasn't really moving. Turns out everyone was busy filling out paperwork. In order to enter the facility, you had to sign a waiver. I thought this was a little odd, but nevertheless I filled out my form, bought my ticket, and entered. Upon entering, the reason for the waiver became immediately apparent. The Angel City Derby Girls skate on a flat track, not the banked track that I'd seen on television. The track extended between the tops of the circles on an inline-hockey rink and took the majority of its width, with about ten feet all around the track for a safety buffer. The lip of the track consisted of about an inch of rope (or something like that) taped down with red tape. The real eye-opener was the barrier between the fans and the skaters--or rather the lack of one. Seats were placed at the ends of the track, and like basketball, you sat right up against the action. If a skater fell, the only thing between her and the fans was air. And fall they did...a lot. More on that later.

Before the bout began, there was time to grab some food from the organic food truck outside, get an adult beverage inside, and look over the assortment of jewelry, stickers, t-shirts and whatnot for sale to support the Derby Girls. I bought a black t-shirt before finding my seat. Unfortunately (thanks to the traffic on the 405) I wasn't able to get a spot in the front row. I grabbed a chair in the third row on the aisle, which provided a great view of the starting lines. A DJ played a good assortment of fun music to keep the energy level up while the skaters took to the track for warm-ups. One of the referees for the evening skated over and stopped right in front of me, dancing on her skates with some friends. Turns out, it was one of Best Damn's Twitter friends (and now a MySpace friend as well), Hannah Grenade, who I totally forgot would be at the event. I didn't introduce myself though, because, "Hi, I follow you on Twitter," as an introduction sounds kinda creepy to me. Next time, Hannah!

Watching the teams skate during warm-ups, it became clear that these women were more comfortable on their quad skates than I am in my sneakers. While they practiced the various skills that would help them during the match, I noticed that the Scarlets' Estro Jen and Diesel also tried several spinning leaps. I don't know if those maneuvers would be practical during a bout, but they were certainly impressive to see. That sense I mentioned earlier, that the event might be more spectacle than athletics, began to dissolve. Sure, the skaters, managers, and referees used clever nicknames and funny uniform numbers, but seeing them even in warm-ups made it clear that these women were serious athletes. That feeling would only increase as the night continued.

Warm-ups ended and the crowd, which seemed pretty much evenly split between men and women, took their seats. After a round of high-fives between the teams--and where else do you see teams shake hands before a match?--they ran a half-speed jam to help newbies like me to better understand the game. Now I won't go into all of the rules of Roller Derby here except to say that a jam is a round of play and the jammers are the skaters who score points. For full rules and a glossary, you can visit the Women's Flat Track Derby Association.

After the demonstration, the bout began. From the very start, the action completely obliterated any preconceived notions I had about Roller Derby. I marveled at the speed of the game, and felt a burst of adrenaline with every pass of the pack. The amount of shoulder checking, pushing, and (illegal) elbowing surpassed even the most brutal NHL game I'd ever seen. Skaters constantly knocked each other down, often with tremendous force. Meanwhile, the jammers managed to finesse their way through the pack to score points. How they did this, I still can't fathom.

Though the bout started off fairly evenly matched, some early penalties to Arizona proved costly. Conversely, the Scarlets managed to survive a penalty to their jammer without allowing the Tent city Terrors to score even a single point. Two of the Scarlets jammers, Estro Jen and Fighty, dominated the play, and by the end of the first thirty minute half, the Angel City Derby Girls led Arizona 81-18.

The entertainment didn't cease during halftime. Along with more music, they held a tricycle race around the track, and revealed the winners in the night's raffle, which had some very impressive prizes, including tickets to see Denis Leary! In what felt like no time, the second half began.

Early in the second half, Arizona's Loco Lena had a good jam, and cut the Scarlets lead down quite a bit. However, the Derby Girls came storming back, and by the midway point of the second half, the Scarlets still held a 101-45 lead. As time elapsed, the action became even more intense. While skating as the jammer, Cherrylicious took a huge hit and fell to the rink, yet she still managed to get up and score a few points. Then once again, Estro Jen took over, scoring 16 points in a single jam. By the end of the bout, the Hollywood Scarlets had more than doubled-up the Tent City Terrors score; the final was 136-62.

The crowd jumped to their feet and ran to the edge of the track to high-five both teams for a well-fought bout as the DJ spun some Tony! Toni! Tone! (a band I thought only I remembered). What a great night! The bout was a blast, and a few skaters quickly became my favorites, including Diesel, Cherrylicious, and Holly Caust. My only regret on the night was that I didn't buy a season ticket on my way into the bout. I'll fix that on April 18th, when the Rocket Queens of the Angel City Derby Girls take on the Inland Empire Derby Divas! Look for me. I should be in the front row this time.

I implore you, sports fans: don't sleep on Roller Derby. Find your local team, get out to a bout, and support them. It's great fun for all!!!